danceofflame_import: (Owned)
danceofflame_import ([personal profile] danceofflame_import) wrote2010-10-27 02:29 pm
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Idol Topic Week 0: Introduction

"Of course some folks end up finding this to be extremely difficult."

I quote Gary, from the week 0 topic post. He may not really know how apt this statement really is.

I am, as a rule, a private, paranoid woman of paradoxes. I am so used to condemnation, discrimination, and betrayal that the idea of a public post available to people with a mere single common tie has me shuddering as if I've had a bucket of spiders dumped on my arachnophobic head. Delve into single memories to form a creation of hopefully well-phrased eloquence? Share experiences that, while private, give only a little insight to myself? This I can do without fear. I can stay hidden in my metaphorical shadows, I remain unknown. But give a summary of my being? Try and explain the complexity that is myself in one general writing, all too easy to set myself up for prejudices, misconceptions, misunderstandings which I may never be able to successfully untangle..even had I the desire? No...oh no. That is a whole new can of worms, and unlike the boy in the book, I don't care for eating them on a dare. And I've heard horror stories from my year of lurking last season, some pieces of my identity may or may not get me persecuted just like the others. But I signed up for this, did I not? 

Curiosity will kill the cat. Nine lives is all I've got, and I've already used up some of those.

I am, first and foremost, a firey, obstinate, stubborn bitch. Or, if you met me on the street, that is likely what you'd think. I am certainly all of those. I am a fire-woman, a fire-dancer. A pyrokinetic shifter of forms, I exude my element. I am passionate in everything about my life. Intense as an inferno, condensed as the core of St Helens, but you'd never know it, never see it. Not unless you could convince me enough to let you find me at the center of my labyrinth.

For hidden I remain, watching and lurking from the shadows, ever waiting. You may never know it's me, flitting just beyond your senses, curious to see whether or not you'll turn to look and see me there. For I am a dancer, a Walker, a tailor and designer, a musician and singer, a healer, guardian, leader, and warrior, and I have scars to bear for this. Each tell a story, if you can read them right, but not just anyone I'll allow near enough to see the words. I am an artist, a creator by trade and nature, one who has paid for the gift, but who would expect me to bring this to the corners of the worlds I do?

Of religion, family, and duty I can say very little. The worlds are simply too fluid to say where one ends and the other begins, and who am I to think I can? They all intertwine and fan out to their own corners of the web. My religion includes my family, my family includes my religion, I have duty and loyalty to the both. These three things are my life, the three places I can focus my passion into, the three places I may prove my worth and use, they are my reason for existing. But I can never truly define them, ever different and ever the same they three remain. 

These words say everything and nothing. They give the seeds to find everything at the core of who I am, and yet they will never be grown if you care not to till the earth and sow them as need be. Best of luck to you all in this season...and for those small few who I may have intrigued enough to set foot inside the door, may you remain ever curious, ever intrigued, and ever well while you tread the winding ways.

[identity profile] alephz.livejournal.com 2010-10-27 08:45 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, hey, always glad for another Maker/Walker/Seeker in the mix.

Best of luck in the game. Looking forward to it.

[identity profile] dance-of-flame.livejournal.com 2010-10-27 08:52 pm (UTC)(link)
*grin* Myself as well. I'm not used to seeing many around.

Likewise. :) It's my first attempt at "people can actually SEE THIS STUFF", so we'll see how it goes, on my end at least.

[identity profile] majesticarky.livejournal.com 2010-10-27 09:05 pm (UTC)(link)
Welcome ! I really identify with fire too.

[identity profile] dance-of-flame.livejournal.com 2010-10-27 09:12 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you! And it's nice to see another fire person around. :)

[identity profile] med-kitty.livejournal.com 2010-10-27 09:35 pm (UTC)(link)
It's very hard to just let people in when you are used to keeping things all bottled up. I understand. It is why I often feel like I don't belong. Welcome to Idol, I hope it goes well for you.

[identity profile] dance-of-flame.livejournal.com 2010-10-27 09:39 pm (UTC)(link)
It's kind of backward with me. I was used to being social and fairly open about things, but that didn't go so well. Thus, the labyrinthe of walls was erected, and I have rather high standards for who is allowed behind them.

And, thank you. :) I do as well.

[identity profile] lilyinchains.livejournal.com 2010-10-27 10:48 pm (UTC)(link)
This is a really nice intro, very eloquent.
Edited 2010-10-27 22:48 (UTC)

[identity profile] antianhedonia.livejournal.com 2010-10-27 11:05 pm (UTC)(link)
I love everything you said about being private, worrying about being persecuted, and especially the line about the labyrinth. Hello and good luck. :)

[identity profile] playmoby.livejournal.com 2010-10-27 11:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Hello and good luck :)

[identity profile] fortitudehigh.livejournal.com 2010-10-27 11:43 pm (UTC)(link)
I personally think you need only show the parts of yourself that you want to show. Then again, that in itself can be telling...

[identity profile] dance-of-flame.livejournal.com 2010-10-28 12:22 am (UTC)(link)
Exactly....and that, that is the catch right there. ;)

[identity profile] dance-of-flame.livejournal.com 2010-10-28 12:23 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you! :)

[identity profile] dance-of-flame.livejournal.com 2010-10-28 12:25 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you very much. :) And the same to you. Pleasure to meet you.

[identity profile] dance-of-flame.livejournal.com 2010-10-28 12:25 am (UTC)(link)
Likewise!

[identity profile] dance-of-flame.livejournal.com 2010-10-28 12:26 am (UTC)(link)
I wouldn't mind. Make sure you read my profile though...I likely won't be quite what you expect.

And you as well. :) Thank you.

[identity profile] oldscratchx.livejournal.com 2010-10-28 01:39 am (UTC)(link)
I really liked this. I read you all of the time, but this had a different kind of style. I'm glad to see it.

[identity profile] dance-of-flame.livejournal.com 2010-10-28 01:48 am (UTC)(link)
:) It's what happens when I write to write instead of just writing what's in my head. I like doing this, but it's not often I have juice in the brain for it. I like me my prompts.

Thank you. :)

[identity profile] alphaloria.livejournal.com 2010-10-28 02:26 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, i'm a little nervous about public posting too.

Hello!

[identity profile] dance-of-flame.livejournal.com 2010-10-28 02:31 am (UTC)(link)
I have this thing with being known. I don't like it too much, and so I generally tend to have pretty high standards for being willing to expose myself. That...uh, sort of goes out the window with that whole "public" thing.

Nice to meet you. :)

[identity profile] isis-lives.livejournal.com 2010-10-28 04:01 am (UTC)(link)
Look forward to reading you. Always good to not know how many of those lives we've used up.

[identity profile] cheshire23.livejournal.com 2010-10-28 04:05 am (UTC)(link)
I don't much care for eating worms, either.

[identity profile] roina-arwen.livejournal.com 2010-10-28 05:09 am (UTC)(link)
I can see you're going to be a force to be reckoned with! Welcome aboard!

[identity profile] comedychick.livejournal.com 2010-10-28 03:16 pm (UTC)(link)
I just try to think "screw you, you're not important to me or my life" to most people who might condemn me. You can't please everyone. Having said that, most of my LJ is friends only, and I only come out with stuff publicly for Idol. And the best thing about being honest in Idol is making friends who don't judge you for the things that others might condemn you for. You don't have to open up to everything right away, or even at all, but stay in competition long enough, you might find yourself sharing things you never expected to. I know I did last season.

[identity profile] teenagewitch.livejournal.com 2010-10-28 05:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Welcome, I love the way you wrote your entry, very intense.

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